Twenty Years is a Long Time

Twenty years is a long time. In the big scheme of life, twenty years is not that long. Should I live to be 100 years old, twenty years would only be a fifth of my life. However, one fifth is somewhat a long time. Should I live to be 100 years old, that means that I am currently past two fifths of my life. Twenty years is longer than ten years, ten years is longer than a year, a year is longer than a day, and day by day, the years and decades go on and soon I will be 100 years old, having lived five fifths of my life.

Twenty years and one day ago, my life did not seem on track that I would get to 25, much less 100. Yet, here I am, twenty years later, still mourning that time, still remembering that time twenty years and one day ago - and still more, twenty years ago. Clutching a toilet, flowing day by day, drug by drug, subtracting months and years off my life. Dream to dream, cigarette to cigarette, dimly lit, hardly alive, etc, etc, etc.

That's enough repeating, ten years ago was ten years ago. I've been married fifteen years. I've had kids for eleven years. I've been drunk, I've been lonely, I've been surrounded by friends and family, I've watched my grandmother pass away in the middle of the night. I've prayed, I've cursed God, I've almost lost friends, I've gained new ones, I've worked hard, I've advanced in my career, I've been recognized, I've lectured, I've preached, I've fallen, I've fallen further, I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've run a marathon, I've sat idly on the couch for days.

I'm sitting there now.

And now, I look forward, while I look back. Today is a new day, just like twenty years ago was a new day, just like yesterday was a new day. But maybe tomorrow is just another day, just like today was another day. The whispers of twenty years and a day ago gently brush against my ears, my thoughts. Late nights and later nights. Lost nights.

But, praise be to the Lord God Almighty, praise God. Who knew a chance encounter at Red Devil Games would lead me to where I am today.

Have these past twenty years been good? Only God is good. My prayer is that the next day, decade, twenty years, will continue to glorify that goodness that He has so graciously given me.

Reference: https://medium.com/@mattisthenation/ten-years-is-a-long-time-7f854c87139